[ Tech Boy's mood is typically so erratic, it's really a miracle that K gets him at all. This is god-level irrationality and humor, not simply figuring out how humans behave. The hair thing would have been played as a bigger deal if there weren't more pressing matters to attend to. And it's absolutely something that's going to come back to haunt K later. ]
I'm not sure yet. I'd have to think about it. There's a lot of choices and what to call someone is a big decision. Nothing too plain because that's boring but nothing too trendy so it doesn't sound dated over time. [ He pulls his hand back, bringing it to his mouth to think. ] Naming an operating system is easy. Pick an animal. Pick a snack food. Pick a landmark. It doesn't have to mean much. But names for people are harder. There's a lot to consider.
[ He's trying to think of a reason why a New God shouldn't have a name that doesn't sound like an argument K might turn back on him. Because it isn't done. Because practicality and function outweigh familiarity. Because it isn't necessary for someone who isn't addressed unless needed to preform his function.
In conclusion, he simply shrugs in answer to that second question. ] I've spent more than a century without one. Never seemed necessary.
You've given me a lot that I've never had before. [ K's voice is quiet but his gratitude is obvious as he carefully leans into Tech Boy, still concentrating on the little figures he's making. But he does spare a cautious upward glance to take in his expression before continuing his lean, until he sort of just tips into Tech Boy's lap, consciously trying to let go of the tension from the last few minutes. It'll probably make both of them feel better. And if he's going to be stuck in this diminutive form, he might as well find ways to enjoy it.
What snack food would I be named after? He looks amused at the thought while also idly wondering how hard it'd be convincing Tech Boy to give him a piggyback ride. ]
What about pet names? [ He asks aloud. Realising he may need to specify the kind he means: ] Terms of endearment. Do you mind if I use them with you? [ Because it seems better to ask before dropping all the darling, sweetheart, and other gooey sentimental pet names that he's already been thinking of Tech Boy by, in case he does mind. Planning ahead for whenever he regains his usual form...
After experimentally triggering the spring mechanism in the legs of one frog, it "jumps" out of his hands and by pure, extremely unfortunate coincidence, gets caught in Tech Boy's poor abused hair. Eyes widening, K covers his mouth and attempts to mask his laugh by clearing his throat. ]
So have you. [ The careful progress of K's lean into Tech Boy's lap does a world of good to lighten the mood. There's a lot of serious conversation in their future, but that really could wait for a little while. They'd touched on it, but there are other things to worry about for the moment. He'll still be thinking about this name conversation though, keeping it in the back of his mind. In the meantime, K makes an adorable kid, even if it is just Deerington trickery. He gets another little hair ruffle before Tech Boy stretches out his arms to rest his hands on the back of the sofa.
An android OS named after a snack food? Easy. Cheating, but they were conveniently named in alphabetical order. KitKat. Not sure if you would have seen those. It's a waver confection covered in chocolate. Sweet and, and he can say this with honesty, one of my favorites.
Pet names pet names something he'd never considered because most of what he gets called outside of his own name tend to be pretty rude. ] I-- [ he doesn't have an immediate answer for that. ] I suppose that would be all right. It would depend on the-- [ and then the worst happens. The little frog springs loose and lands neatly atop Tech Boy's head.
The stifled laugh is what does it. ] That's it. [ In one motion, he scoops K into his arms, stands, and all but tosses him over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. Somewhat less dignified than a piggyback ride, but it's just about the only time TB's ever going to get the drop on K while still being able to lift him. ]
[ Unsurprisingly, K's never had a KitKat before, but between the cutesy name and it being one of Tech Boy's favourites, he assumes it must be a good choice. Maybe he'll be able to find some in one of the local stores.
All efforts to suppress his laughter evaporate when he's picked up. Not quite the piggyback ride he'd envisioned, but close enough that he's content to enjoy the ride while it lasts rather than squirming to be put down. It's slightly tempting to go limp and act as dead weight just to make it harder, but for now he refrains. ]
Don't you like them? I'm making them for you. [ Referring to the frogs, and the one that landed on Tech Boy's head has yet to be dislodged from its perch. What are the odds of him forgetting it's there and leaving it? ]
I carried you so much more romantically. Bet I still could— [ The words are interrupted by a renewed fit of giggling. But on the topic of food and romance... ] It reminds me. You should have dinner with me, once I'm able to reach the stuff again to make it.
Oh, I like them a lot. They're very clever, but you either need better aim... or worse. [ He's not likely to forget it's there, but he has his hands full balancing K over his shoulders at the moment and won't be moving the frog until he finally agrees to put K back down.
Which isn't yet. This is actually kinda fun. ] I have no doubt, but I don't think my ego would survive you picking me up right now. Looks like you're going to have to suffer through this instead. [ the giggling is contagious. ] It might be less romantic than hauling me out of a frozen ocean filled with tentacles, but this way you can reach things in the kitchen cupboards. Weren't you complaining about starving when I first walked in here?
[ Stepping around a few fallen circuit board pieces, he carries K into the kitchen. He's actually not really explored this far into K's place, but seeing as they're in the same building/on the same floor, there's a relative similarity.
As almost an afterthought, he adds, ] Yeah. We can do dinner later. [ Between a god's life and a replicant cop's work and all the insanity that the dreamworld of Deerington throws at them-- something as mundane as 'dinner' seems pretty extraordinary. ]
[ There's some evidence that K's been climbing on the counters to reach things (a kitchen chair is set against one, several items are uncharacteristically out of place), so he was clearly just being dramatic. He'd really rather not have to treat the counters and kitchen chairs like playground equipment in order to get by, though. ]
I wasn't complaining. I was stating the eventual outcome of your failure to fulfill my request. [ He says airily. ] But you're more useful than a step ladder, so this works. [ Even if Tech Boy did have to carry him in nearly the most awkward way possible. He'll make do.
Pointing out several of the upper cupboards, he'll pull down the needed items once he's close enough to reach them: a wok, sesame oil, several sauces. After living on synthetic substitutes for his entire short life, being able to make his own "real" food is an indulgence he's clearly enjoying. ]
[ Lacking a stepladder, this just means Tech Boy needs to be around more often to be climbed on instead of the counters and furniture. He is probably getting too much enjoyment from carrying K around over his shoulders, but (despite his usual bad attitude) he really does like kids. Indirectly, he'd raised quite a few of them in recent years. And even thought this kid is K's adult mind in a child-shaped body, it counts in the god's perception. With almost a parent-like patience, even while he's fighting with them over the Network, kids can get away with a lot in Tech Boy's presence.
Hence the frog. Hence not dropping K when he points out Tech Boy's failure at the fetch request. ]
I'd better be more useful than a stepladder, or you're in trouble.
[ He's strong enough to shift K's weight a little to get him into a better position to search through the cupboards. He's pretty interested in whatever K's doing. Tech Boy is good at a lot of things, but anything kitchen-related is not one of them. He's a fast food and takeout kind of guy. ]
I like McDonalds. [ He really does not have a classier answer than that. Please help him, K. That stereotype applicable to many of the Internet God's followers doesn't come from nowhere. ] And pizza. I don't really have to eat, so I usually just snack because I like to.
[ Fast food and pizza. He isn't sure what he'd expected, but that's... something, all right. Maybe a bit confusing, having assumed Tech Boy's from a time and world that has the virtually limitless cuisine options that the people of K's homeworld could only dream about now. And in K's case, never got to experience in the first place. But he doesn't hold that against Tech Boy. ]
"In trouble"? What would you do, give me time-out? [ It's a miracle he manages to say that without laughing. ]
I haven't had either of those. But to my understanding, maybe only one qualifies as a meal. [ He sounds dubious, but to his credit, he's also trying to figure out how he could get McDonald's food now. The closest might be the food served at the diner or arcade. Pizza should be doable, though. Even home-made pizza.
Reaching things in the fridge on his own is less of an issue, but the freezer does require a boost, so he's going to continue taking full advantage of being carried around. Motioning toward the fridge, this time he hands off some of the ingredients (chicken, various vegetables, leftover cooked rice) to Tech Boy since he can more easily reach to set them on the counter. ]
Do you know how to cook?
[ There's some amusement in his tone because he suspects he already knows the answer. But Tech Boy has surprised him before, so it can't hurt to ask rather than assume. ]
No time-outs. I'll just leave, and then you'll have to do all this on your own.
[ Tech Boy really needs an adult with adult tastes in his life, but his reliance on junk food and fast food ironically stems from the overabundance of cuisine options. The convenience of the crap he eats is made possible only because of a national surplus, cheap ingredients, and really aggressive chain restaurants. It's the result of a god's lifetime of not having enough free time to step away from his work to take (let along prepare) a proper meal. He likes real food, but if it can't be delivered fresh, picked up in a drive-through, or tossed on a baking sheet in he oven, he can't slow down long enough to bother. Simply watching K's gathering of ingredients is more time than he's spent in a kitchen in decades.
He does help without much comment, allowing K to climb on him as needed and accepting handed items to place them on the counter top. ]
Anything can be a meal if you're really fucking dedicated to the concept and willing to overlook some nutritional components.
[ K doesn't strike TB as the type to eat cookies and milk as a meal substitute, but if he's not already wise to the idea, he'll introduce K to the concept of a classic American breakfast for dinner. Damn, he should have led with that idea. Maybe it'll make a nice surprise later.
What isn't a surprise is Tech Boy's answer to this question. ] No, I can't honestly say I've cooked a day in my life. Might be able to boil water though. And I can follow instructions.
That's not quite the kind of teasing — if it's even teasing? — K had anticipated in response to his own, and it gives him pause. He's quiet as he finishes collecting the remainder of the ingredients and then indicates he wants to be put down. ]
I appreciate your help, but you don't have to stay if you don't want to. Or if you have other things to do. [ Not an unreasonable assumption when Tech Boy always seems to be busy with something or other. ] I know it's probably weird for you. [ And there's that.
It may be the wrong takeaway again, but a lifetime of being treated like a disposal object and with the utmost disdain continues to make these things difficult to navigate sometimes. Whenever he's uncertain of how to handle any given situation, that's the experience he has to fall back on. And he genuinely doesn't want to be an inconvenience, and assumes Tech Boy isn't getting much out of being here to begin with when he's stuck in this diminutive form. Aside from maybe a free (and proper) meal, if he wants one. ]
[ Tech Boy notes that K's grown quiet and doesn't comment again until after he sets him back on the floor. It was fun while it lasted. He'd been teasing with his threat to leave, but that seems to have brought up an unkind memory for K. ]
If I really didn't want to be here hanging out with you, I wouldn't be. Trust me. With the general exception of being stuck in Sodder's nightmare, I don't stay in places against my will. [ He crosses his arms and tilts his head to one side a little. The frog is still nestled in his hair. ] I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to go.
So you have to tell me when I start getting in the way. [ He hazards a quick glance at the stove top. ] Like while cooking.
[ Under usual circumstances, there's a comment to be made about "other things to do" but, as it is, he just shrugs with one shoulder. ] Yeah, it's a bit weird, but from my perspective, still not the weirdest thing I've seen. And you're still you where it counts. Even if your body looks a bit different. [ A smirk twitches the corner of his lips. ] You make a cute kid, for whatever that's worth.
[ Once he's down, he pauses long enough to give Tech Boy a pointed look. ] I don't want you to leave and you're never in the way. [ He's quick to say, hoping his prior words won't be misinterpreted as some kind of dismissal. The company is always welcome, even if they'll have to take a rain check on a few of the things they usually get up to together.
There's a nebulous, nagging worry of what will happen if this change is of a more permanent nature than the ones he's previously experienced, and that's weighing on his mind as well. Enough that Tech Boy's remark about his making a cute kid takes a couple seconds to fully register, and then his eyes widen in surprised realisation. ]
I look like me. [ Like an actual child version of himself. ]
I have memories of being a child— that's not me. They're just implants, like most my memories. [ And on that cheerful thought, he pulls out a couple knives from a drawer that's thankfully within his reach, gets the cutting board, and drags the kitchen chair over to the counter where the ingredients are all laid out. Climbing up, he rinses some of the vegetables in the sink. ]
You make time for me. It hasn't gone unnoticed or unappreciated. [ He adds, returning to the prior topic of conversation. After preparing the peppers (cutting off the ends, removing the seeds and ribs, laying them flat) with only some difficulty due to his smaller hands now, he looks back to Tech Boy. ] And I think you need a real meal. Can you cut these into strips without cutting yourself?
[ He did say he can follow instructions, and that's probably the easiest place to start. ]
Then I won't leave. [ Simple. He likes that. He didn't want to follow through with that threat anyway, even in jest. But he's certainly about to get in the way. Tech Boy knows his way around a lot of things, but a kitchen is not one of them. ]
You look like you, just-- [ He raises his hand to adult!K's approximate height just over his own head then lowers it to touch the top of now!K's head. ] shorter. Still cute. [ But the mention of implanted memories raises a question to mind that Tech Boy hadn't thought to ask before, even as he was posed one very similar. ] How old are you, anyway? Um. Shape-changing notwithstanding.
[ He's aware that the memories he has seen all seem to come from a very recent past, but it hadn't occurred to him that it was odd until just now. There's actually quite a lot the god's curious about, such as the version history of replicant models or what specifically lead to the decline of human civilization in K's world--but it all seemed too academic during the times they had more physical things to do. And adult-minded or not, it still strikes Tech Boy as too serious of a conversation for this moment.
because there are peppers to cut and fingertips to avoid cutting. ] Yeah. [ He thinks. ] Yeah, I can do that. Show me one cut and I'll do the rest.
I've been in service for about three years. [ How's it feel to be a cradle robber, TB? K peers up at him with an amused smirk. ] I'm curious how you'd look as a child. [ Never mind how young the god already appears.
K demonstrates the thickness he wants the peppers to be by cutting a few strips, then pulls the onion over and gets it started as well, doing his best to show how to hold them to avoid any knife injuries, occasionally glancing up to make sure Tech Boy's following. The remainder are left to him as K flits around the kitchen seeing to the rest of the preparations, tugging the chair along as needed. And it's frequently needed, but he's less self-conscious about it now. ]
What're some things you could use help with? In exchange for helping me with the robotics and engineering. [ Which might not end up being an especially involved process, given how efficiently he learns, and depending on Tech Boy's teaching methods. ] Assuming letting me help wouldn't just slow you down. [ Stated with the pragmatism of someone who understands that sometimes it's easier working alone. ]
[ Three years is... a lot less time than Tech Boy was expecting. Honestly, his surprise at this revelation is a credit to the quality of K's implanted memories, but it seems a bit insensitive to say so aloud. He arches an eyebrow and glances down to see that amused smirk. ] People don't usually picture their gods as children, and apparently neither does Deerington. Bet I'm fucking cute too.
[ He watches the demonstration carefully. Cooking really isn't his forte, but he doesn't want to fuck this up for K, so he'll try his best. He can manage not to slice open his fingers, but he can't promise perfectly cut vegetables. The process is taking a fair amount of his concentration simply because the task is so unusual for him. ]
Letting me help you in here is what's slowing things down. [ Luckily onions don't cause any tear-like effects, but they are trickier to handle. ] I guess time will tell. Right now I'm not working on anything that is't solo, but there's bound to be something down the line. Guess you'll have to owe me a favor.
Bet you don't look very different, just shorter. [ Just casually calling Tech Boy baby-faced.
Once the chicken's cut into uniformly-sized pieces, K adds it first to the heated and oiled wok on the stovetop. Not too long after that he begins adding in the other ingredients and seasoning, including everything that Tech Boy has cut so far (without a hint of impatience about how long he's taking), occasionally stirring as needed.
It isn't difficult, per se, but there's a definite balancing act involved to ensure each ingredient is cooked through without simultaneously burning the others. K seems very familiar with the process, enough to be watching Tech Boy more than the stir-fry. ]
Not sure how I feel about owing you a favour. [ It's clear from his tone that he's teasing, even as he tries to maintain a serious expression. Which becomes even harder when he catches a glimpse of the frog that's still caught in the god's hair. ] Unless it's the kind you'll collect once I'm back to normal... [ A long pause as he considers something. ] Will you still stay over? [ Overnight, he means. ] It's okay if you don't want to. [ Though he'll miss having someone to curl up with as he's falling asleep, he understands that it might be weird right now. ]
Ha ha. [ he says, with a little shake of his head. ] But I bet I'd still be taller than you. [ The urge to hair ruffle again is strong, but since he's dealing with food, somehow TB manages to restrain himself.
Tech Boy finishes cutting the vegetables he's been assigned and leans one hip against the counter to watch K's progress. Cooking is an outright mystery to him, but even with a child's body, K seems more than capable in this task. ]
Deal. You owe me a favor, and I'll collect once you're back to normal. [ Whenever that is. Luckily the god is patient... sometimes. Because who knows how long something like this may last? And on that subject, he answers K's long pause with one of his own, considering. It is weird right now. No doubt about that. But the physical intimacy isn't the only aspect of their relationship, and K is still K where it counts. ] Obviously there are boundaries, but yeah. [ He makes his expression into something he hopes is reassuring. ] I'll stay.
Like this half of the bed is mine, that half is yours, don't cross the invisible line?
[ He knows with reasonable certainty what boundaries Tech Boy means, but finds it funny he felt the need to actually say it. And just in case he's legitimately concerned about anything getting weird in unpleasant ways: ] Your virtue is safe with me, I promise. [ He says solemnly. There will be no taking advantage of poor, innocent gods on his watch. ]
Does me physically being in one of your key demographics feel different for you? [ Those particular ruffled feathers of insecurity have been sufficiently smoothed by this point, so he feels more confident bringing that up again.
Maybe Tech Boy was getting at something before, and K would rather not pass up a potential opportunity to gain a better understanding of how belief and worship work. He doesn't actually know whether the two are even intrinsically linked or not — Tech Boy had said his belief matters, but had also rejected his worship before while accepting his regard. It's confusing. ]
There can be a little bit of invisible line crossing because I can be a blanket hog and I dare you to take them away, but [ he moves one hand in a sort of wavering gesture ] nothing too audacious. You're not used to looking like you do now, and there aren't many, but there are a few hardwired limits based on aged and consent. Everyone's virtue remains secure. [ There's a glint in his eye. ] Until the moment whatever this is wears off, of course. Then all bets are off.
[ He's still leaning against the counter but turns so that his back is to the cupboards. Crossing his arms over his chest, Tech Boy takes a moment to think about that question. ] Yes, but it's difficult to explain. When kids access the internet, they are absolutely fearless, fucking razor sharp, but they're far more vulnerable than adults. I guess that's true in the flesh too, but that's not where I see them. I feel all weirdly kind of protective. Lots of kids grow up knowing me better than they know their own parents. [ He shrugs, frowning a little. ] It gets to a guy after a while.
I don't want to project it onto you. I know it's not the same. Still kinda feels that way though.
It's not the same because I'm not a real child? [ But by the same token... ] I'm not exactly a real [ person ] adult, either. I was made to look like one. Given the mental capacity of one, with a lifetime of false memories to maintain stability.
[ And there are still significant gaps in his understanding that no amount of memory implants can really compensate for, only lived experience. Being in Deerington and being exposed to so many new situations has made that more apparent than ever. It might be an uncomfortable truth following what Tech Boy said about age and consent, though he isn't trying to undermine that. ]
My "parent" built me to specification and sold me like any other product... Being raised by the internet is a privilege humans get to take for granted. [ It's an attempt at a joke, but his tone is more wistful than dry. Humans get to take a lot of things for granted. And he can appreciate this insight into what it's like being the living embodiment of technology, even if he's a bit surprised by how fond Tech Boy seems of said human children raised by the internet. K's own feelings on the matter are — complicated, but this isn't about him.
While they've been talking he's also been diligently finishing up the stir-fry, and divides it between two plates now. But they're left on the counter for the time being. Climbing down from the chair, he returns to where Tech Boy's standing and regards him for a moment, then wraps his arms around Tech Boy's middle and sort of... faceplants against him. Pretty much what could be expected from someone with a dearth of hugging experience. ]
It's not the same because you're not human. [ That might be a bit blunt, but it's the truth. K's current physical age might be setting off some nurturing urges in the Technical Boy, protection instincts developed from "raising" so many children, but the reality is actually a bit more straight forward. ] The physical aspect doesn't indicate anything about your mental capability, despite the way I've been conditioned to respond to physical characteristics. [ Says the god who just found out his boyfriend has only been operational for 3 years. On the other hand, that's practically ancient with how quickly tech advances these days. ]
You're still "real" in every way that matters. Being human doesn't have anything to do with that. I don't know what it's like being human either, and I'm sure as hell real. I only know what I do about that particular experience because I've learned by watching them. By listening to them. By spending waaaaay too much time with them.
Now I get to learn from you. And to help you make some true memories to maintain stability. [ and hey. He's already learned how to cut an onion without cutting his hand. Among other, more important things. A productive evening.
The faceplant hug makes him shake a little with silent laughter, and he bends a little to hug K around his shoulders. ]
[ That honesty would be devastating if K were holding onto any delusions about his identity and purpose, or about his potential. He'll never be human. He doesn't want to be human, so in that regard it's gratifying to be told; acknowledging what he is without condemning him for it in the same breath, as would normally be the case.
And of course it's even better being told he's real. ]
What could you learn from me? [ An inferior imitation of a human, the thought accompanies his muffled words. It's what humans from his homeworld consider androids, among many other, progressively less kind things. And maybe they have a point, because he isn't sure what Tech Boy could learn from him that would be worthwhile.
Unless he plans to start killing androids. Regrettably K's area of expertise. ]
[ Tech Boy hugs him a little more tightly. It breaks his heart every time to hear K say (or think) these things, knowing that K himself believes them.
Made in their image, but also made in mine. You are different, but not "inferior." Words he could have spoken aloud, but it means more to him in this moment, speaking tech-to-tech on a fundamental level. ]
K, I have already learned so much from you. [ He bends to place a chaste kiss on the top of K's head. ] More than I can put into words. If you hadn't taught me that I can trust someone again-- Let's just say I wouldn't have stuck around to make dinner with just anyone. My patience and attention span is not that long. But it's worth it. You're worth it.
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brandnewtech) wrote2019-09-29 05:00 am
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I'm not sure yet. I'd have to think about it. There's a lot of choices and what to call someone is a big decision. Nothing too plain because that's boring but nothing too trendy so it doesn't sound dated over time. [ He pulls his hand back, bringing it to his mouth to think. ] Naming an operating system is easy. Pick an animal. Pick a snack food. Pick a landmark. It doesn't have to mean much. But names for people are harder. There's a lot to consider.
[ He's trying to think of a reason why a New God shouldn't have a name that doesn't sound like an argument K might turn back on him. Because it isn't done. Because practicality and function outweigh familiarity. Because it isn't necessary for someone who isn't addressed unless needed to preform his function.
In conclusion, he simply shrugs in answer to that second question. ] I've spent more than a century without one. Never seemed necessary.
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What snack food would I be named after? He looks amused at the thought while also idly wondering how hard it'd be convincing Tech Boy to give him a piggyback ride. ]
What about pet names? [ He asks aloud. Realising he may need to specify the kind he means: ] Terms of endearment. Do you mind if I use them with you? [ Because it seems better to ask before dropping all the darling, sweetheart, and other gooey sentimental pet names that he's already been thinking of Tech Boy by, in case he does mind. Planning ahead for whenever he regains his usual form...
After experimentally triggering the spring mechanism in the legs of one frog, it "jumps" out of his hands and by pure, extremely unfortunate coincidence, gets caught in Tech Boy's poor abused hair. Eyes widening, K covers his mouth and attempts to mask his laugh by clearing his throat. ]
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An android OS named after a snack food? Easy. Cheating, but they were conveniently named in alphabetical order. KitKat. Not sure if you would have seen those. It's a waver confection covered in chocolate. Sweet and, and he can say this with honesty, one of my favorites.
Pet names pet names something he'd never considered because most of what he gets called outside of his own name tend to be pretty rude. ] I-- [ he doesn't have an immediate answer for that. ] I suppose that would be all right. It would depend on the-- [ and then the worst happens. The little frog springs loose and lands neatly atop Tech Boy's head.
The stifled laugh is what does it. ] That's it. [ In one motion, he scoops K into his arms, stands, and all but tosses him over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. Somewhat less dignified than a piggyback ride, but it's just about the only time TB's ever going to get the drop on K while still being able to lift him. ]
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All efforts to suppress his laughter evaporate when he's picked up. Not quite the piggyback ride he'd envisioned, but close enough that he's content to enjoy the ride while it lasts rather than squirming to be put down. It's slightly tempting to go limp and act as dead weight just to make it harder, but for now he refrains. ]
Don't you like them? I'm making them for you. [ Referring to the frogs, and the one that landed on Tech Boy's head has yet to be dislodged from its perch. What are the odds of him forgetting it's there and leaving it? ]
I carried you so much more romantically. Bet I still could— [ The words are interrupted by a renewed fit of giggling. But on the topic of food and romance... ] It reminds me. You should have dinner with me, once I'm able to reach the stuff again to make it.
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Which isn't yet. This is actually kinda fun. ] I have no doubt, but I don't think my ego would survive you picking me up right now. Looks like you're going to have to suffer through this instead. [ the giggling is contagious. ] It might be less romantic than hauling me out of a frozen ocean filled with tentacles, but this way you can reach things in the kitchen cupboards. Weren't you complaining about starving when I first walked in here?
[ Stepping around a few fallen circuit board pieces, he carries K into the kitchen. He's actually not really explored this far into K's place, but seeing as they're in the same building/on the same floor, there's a relative similarity.
As almost an afterthought, he adds, ] Yeah. We can do dinner later. [ Between a god's life and a replicant cop's work and all the insanity that the dreamworld of Deerington throws at them-- something as mundane as 'dinner' seems pretty extraordinary. ]
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I wasn't complaining. I was stating the eventual outcome of your failure to fulfill my request. [ He says airily. ] But you're more useful than a step ladder, so this works. [ Even if Tech Boy did have to carry him in nearly the most awkward way possible. He'll make do.
Pointing out several of the upper cupboards, he'll pull down the needed items once he's close enough to reach them: a wok, sesame oil, several sauces. After living on synthetic substitutes for his entire short life, being able to make his own "real" food is an indulgence he's clearly enjoying. ]
Do you have any favourite meals?
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Hence the frog. Hence not dropping K when he points out Tech Boy's failure at the fetch request. ]
I'd better be more useful than a stepladder, or you're in trouble.
[ He's strong enough to shift K's weight a little to get him into a better position to search through the cupboards. He's pretty interested in whatever K's doing. Tech Boy is good at a lot of things, but anything kitchen-related is not one of them. He's a fast food and takeout kind of guy. ]
I like McDonalds. [ He really does not have a classier answer than that. Please help him, K. That stereotype applicable to many of the Internet God's followers doesn't come from nowhere. ] And pizza. I don't really have to eat, so I usually just snack because I like to.
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"In trouble"? What would you do, give me time-out? [ It's a miracle he manages to say that without laughing. ]
I haven't had either of those. But to my understanding, maybe only one qualifies as a meal. [ He sounds dubious, but to his credit, he's also trying to figure out how he could get McDonald's food now. The closest might be the food served at the diner or arcade. Pizza should be doable, though. Even home-made pizza.
Reaching things in the fridge on his own is less of an issue, but the freezer does require a boost, so he's going to continue taking full advantage of being carried around. Motioning toward the fridge, this time he hands off some of the ingredients (chicken, various vegetables, leftover cooked rice) to Tech Boy since he can more easily reach to set them on the counter. ]
Do you know how to cook?
[ There's some amusement in his tone because he suspects he already knows the answer. But Tech Boy has surprised him before, so it can't hurt to ask rather than assume. ]
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[ Tech Boy really needs an adult with adult tastes in his life, but his reliance on junk food and fast food ironically stems from the overabundance of cuisine options. The convenience of the crap he eats is made possible only because of a national surplus, cheap ingredients, and really aggressive chain restaurants. It's the result of a god's lifetime of not having enough free time to step away from his work to take (let along prepare) a proper meal. He likes real food, but if it can't be delivered fresh, picked up in a drive-through, or tossed on a baking sheet in he oven, he can't slow down long enough to bother. Simply watching K's gathering of ingredients is more time than he's spent in a kitchen in decades.
He does help without much comment, allowing K to climb on him as needed and accepting handed items to place them on the counter top. ]
Anything can be a meal if you're really fucking dedicated to the concept and willing to overlook some nutritional components.
[ K doesn't strike TB as the type to eat cookies and milk as a meal substitute, but if he's not already wise to the idea, he'll introduce K to the concept of a classic American breakfast for dinner. Damn, he should have led with that idea. Maybe it'll make a nice surprise later.
What isn't a surprise is Tech Boy's answer to this question. ] No, I can't honestly say I've cooked a day in my life. Might be able to boil water though. And I can follow instructions.
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That's not quite the kind of teasing — if it's even teasing? — K had anticipated in response to his own, and it gives him pause. He's quiet as he finishes collecting the remainder of the ingredients and then indicates he wants to be put down. ]
I appreciate your help, but you don't have to stay if you don't want to. Or if you have other things to do. [ Not an unreasonable assumption when Tech Boy always seems to be busy with something or other. ] I know it's probably weird for you. [ And there's that.
It may be the wrong takeaway again, but a lifetime of being treated like a disposal object and with the utmost disdain continues to make these things difficult to navigate sometimes. Whenever he's uncertain of how to handle any given situation, that's the experience he has to fall back on. And he genuinely doesn't want to be an inconvenience, and assumes Tech Boy isn't getting much out of being here to begin with when he's stuck in this diminutive form. Aside from maybe a free (and proper) meal, if he wants one. ]
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If I really didn't want to be here hanging out with you, I wouldn't be. Trust me. With the general exception of being stuck in Sodder's nightmare, I don't stay in places against my will. [ He crosses his arms and tilts his head to one side a little. The frog is still nestled in his hair. ] I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to go.
So you have to tell me when I start getting in the way. [ He hazards a quick glance at the stove top. ] Like while cooking.
[ Under usual circumstances, there's a comment to be made about "other things to do" but, as it is, he just shrugs with one shoulder. ] Yeah, it's a bit weird, but from my perspective, still not the weirdest thing I've seen. And you're still you where it counts. Even if your body looks a bit different. [ A smirk twitches the corner of his lips. ] You make a cute kid, for whatever that's worth.
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There's a nebulous, nagging worry of what will happen if this change is of a more permanent nature than the ones he's previously experienced, and that's weighing on his mind as well. Enough that Tech Boy's remark about his making a cute kid takes a couple seconds to fully register, and then his eyes widen in surprised realisation. ]
I look like me. [ Like an actual child version of himself. ]
I have memories of being a child— that's not me. They're just implants, like most my memories. [ And on that cheerful thought, he pulls out a couple knives from a drawer that's thankfully within his reach, gets the cutting board, and drags the kitchen chair over to the counter where the ingredients are all laid out. Climbing up, he rinses some of the vegetables in the sink. ]
You make time for me. It hasn't gone unnoticed or unappreciated. [ He adds, returning to the prior topic of conversation. After preparing the peppers (cutting off the ends, removing the seeds and ribs, laying them flat) with only some difficulty due to his smaller hands now, he looks back to Tech Boy. ] And I think you need a real meal. Can you cut these into strips without cutting yourself?
[ He did say he can follow instructions, and that's probably the easiest place to start. ]
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You look like you, just-- [ He raises his hand to adult!K's approximate height just over his own head then lowers it to touch the top of now!K's head. ] shorter. Still cute. [ But the mention of implanted memories raises a question to mind that Tech Boy hadn't thought to ask before, even as he was posed one very similar. ] How old are you, anyway? Um. Shape-changing notwithstanding.
[ He's aware that the memories he has seen all seem to come from a very recent past, but it hadn't occurred to him that it was odd until just now. There's actually quite a lot the god's curious about, such as the version history of replicant models or what specifically lead to the decline of human civilization in K's world--but it all seemed too academic during the times they had more physical things to do. And adult-minded or not, it still strikes Tech Boy as too serious of a conversation for this moment.
because there are peppers to cut and fingertips to avoid cutting. ] Yeah. [ He thinks. ] Yeah, I can do that. Show me one cut and I'll do the rest.
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K demonstrates the thickness he wants the peppers to be by cutting a few strips, then pulls the onion over and gets it started as well, doing his best to show how to hold them to avoid any knife injuries, occasionally glancing up to make sure Tech Boy's following. The remainder are left to him as K flits around the kitchen seeing to the rest of the preparations, tugging the chair along as needed. And it's frequently needed, but he's less self-conscious about it now. ]
What're some things you could use help with? In exchange for helping me with the robotics and engineering. [ Which might not end up being an especially involved process, given how efficiently he learns, and depending on Tech Boy's teaching methods. ] Assuming letting me help wouldn't just slow you down. [ Stated with the pragmatism of someone who understands that sometimes it's easier working alone. ]
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[ He watches the demonstration carefully. Cooking really isn't his forte, but he doesn't want to fuck this up for K, so he'll try his best. He can manage not to slice open his fingers, but he can't promise perfectly cut vegetables. The process is taking a fair amount of his concentration simply because the task is so unusual for him. ]
Letting me help you in here is what's slowing things down. [ Luckily onions don't cause any tear-like effects, but they are trickier to handle. ] I guess time will tell. Right now I'm not working on anything that is't solo, but there's bound to be something down the line. Guess you'll have to owe me a favor.
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Once the chicken's cut into uniformly-sized pieces, K adds it first to the heated and oiled wok on the stovetop. Not too long after that he begins adding in the other ingredients and seasoning, including everything that Tech Boy has cut so far (without a hint of impatience about how long he's taking), occasionally stirring as needed.
It isn't difficult, per se, but there's a definite balancing act involved to ensure each ingredient is cooked through without simultaneously burning the others. K seems very familiar with the process, enough to be watching Tech Boy more than the stir-fry. ]
Not sure how I feel about owing you a favour. [ It's clear from his tone that he's teasing, even as he tries to maintain a serious expression. Which becomes even harder when he catches a glimpse of the frog that's still caught in the god's hair. ] Unless it's the kind you'll collect once I'm back to normal... [ A long pause as he considers something. ] Will you still stay over? [ Overnight, he means. ] It's okay if you don't want to. [ Though he'll miss having someone to curl up with as he's falling asleep, he understands that it might be weird right now. ]
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Tech Boy finishes cutting the vegetables he's been assigned and leans one hip against the counter to watch K's progress. Cooking is an outright mystery to him, but even with a child's body, K seems more than capable in this task. ]
Deal. You owe me a favor, and I'll collect once you're back to normal. [ Whenever that is. Luckily the god is patient... sometimes. Because who knows how long something like this may last? And on that subject, he answers K's long pause with one of his own, considering. It is weird right now. No doubt about that. But the physical intimacy isn't the only aspect of their relationship, and K is still K where it counts. ] Obviously there are boundaries, but yeah. [ He makes his expression into something he hopes is reassuring. ] I'll stay.
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[ He knows with reasonable certainty what boundaries Tech Boy means, but finds it funny he felt the need to actually say it. And just in case he's legitimately concerned about anything getting weird in unpleasant ways: ] Your virtue is safe with me, I promise. [ He says solemnly. There will be no taking advantage of poor, innocent gods on his watch. ]
Does me physically being in one of your key demographics feel different for you? [ Those particular ruffled feathers of insecurity have been sufficiently smoothed by this point, so he feels more confident bringing that up again.
Maybe Tech Boy was getting at something before, and K would rather not pass up a potential opportunity to gain a better understanding of how belief and worship work. He doesn't actually know whether the two are even intrinsically linked or not — Tech Boy had said his belief matters, but had also rejected his worship before while accepting his regard. It's confusing. ]
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[ He's still leaning against the counter but turns so that his back is to the cupboards. Crossing his arms over his chest, Tech Boy takes a moment to think about that question. ] Yes, but it's difficult to explain. When kids access the internet, they are absolutely fearless, fucking razor sharp, but they're far more vulnerable than adults. I guess that's true in the flesh too, but that's not where I see them. I feel all weirdly kind of protective. Lots of kids grow up knowing me better than they know their own parents. [ He shrugs, frowning a little. ] It gets to a guy after a while.
I don't want to project it onto you. I know it's not the same. Still kinda feels that way though.
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[ And there are still significant gaps in his understanding that no amount of memory implants can really compensate for, only lived experience. Being in Deerington and being exposed to so many new situations has made that more apparent than ever. It might be an uncomfortable truth following what Tech Boy said about age and consent, though he isn't trying to undermine that. ]
My "parent" built me to specification and sold me like any other product... Being raised by the internet is a privilege humans get to take for granted. [ It's an attempt at a joke, but his tone is more wistful than dry. Humans get to take a lot of things for granted. And he can appreciate this insight into what it's like being the living embodiment of technology, even if he's a bit surprised by how fond Tech Boy seems of said human children raised by the internet. K's own feelings on the matter are — complicated, but this isn't about him.
While they've been talking he's also been diligently finishing up the stir-fry, and divides it between two plates now. But they're left on the counter for the time being. Climbing down from the chair, he returns to where Tech Boy's standing and regards him for a moment, then wraps his arms around Tech Boy's middle and sort of... faceplants against him. Pretty much what could be expected from someone with a dearth of hugging experience. ]
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You're still "real" in every way that matters. Being human doesn't have anything to do with that. I don't know what it's like being human either, and I'm sure as hell real. I only know what I do about that particular experience because I've learned by watching them. By listening to them. By spending waaaaay too much time with them.
Now I get to learn from you. And to help you make some true memories to maintain stability. [ and hey. He's already learned how to cut an onion without cutting his hand. Among other, more important things. A productive evening.
The faceplant hug makes him shake a little with silent laughter, and he bends a little to hug K around his shoulders. ]
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And of course it's even better being told he's real. ]
What could you learn from me? [ An inferior imitation of a human, the thought accompanies his muffled words. It's what humans from his homeworld consider androids, among many other, progressively less kind things. And maybe they have a point, because he isn't sure what Tech Boy could learn from him that would be worthwhile.
Unless he plans to start killing androids. Regrettably K's area of expertise. ]
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Made in their image, but also made in mine. You are different, but not "inferior." Words he could have spoken aloud, but it means more to him in this moment, speaking tech-to-tech on a fundamental level. ]
K, I have already learned so much from you. [ He bends to place a chaste kiss on the top of K's head. ] More than I can put into words. If you hadn't taught me that I can trust someone again-- Let's just say I wouldn't have stuck around to make dinner with just anyone. My patience and attention span is not that long. But it's worth it. You're worth it.